Today has officially made it to the list of my top 5 terrible, horrible days. As most of you follow me on Facebook and Instagram, you know that today was my appointment with my perinatal specialist.
Here is what I posted:
I had my perinatal specialist appointment today and we received some heartbreaking news. We were told a handful of things and want to keep some of it private until we learn more and know more. But one of the things we have been told is that baby girl's kidneys aren't working and that there's backed up fluid. I have another doctor appointment next week but we won't have all the answers until they run more tests and as time goes by. But we will keep you posted. We would be so grateful if you could include our family in your prayers, especially for the baby. Thanks everyone.
As I lay here in bed with my thoughts and emotions all over the place, I can't help but think about the future and what it holds for my family and my baby girl. I hate being in this limbo stage where we are waiting to see if her kidneys will get better on their own with time or if they won't and get worse. One of the worst things about this situation is that I can't help her. I'm useless and it's out of my control. As a mother, there isn't anything that I wouldn't do for my children. And being in this situation just plain sucks. It's heartbreaking.
I'm physically and emotionally drained and my eyelids just want to close but when I close them, I cry. Or my mind starts going a million miles a minute on repeat of what the specialist told me. I guess I'm just rambling now. I'm sorry! I'll probably edit a lot of this out anyways but for now, I'm just writing what comes to mind.
It absolutely sucked not having anybody with me at this appointment. My husband is in Georgia and my mom and MIL are in other states. Receiving news like that is terrible but man, receiving news like that ALONE stinks big time. I had to wait in my car for what feels like forever (prob closer to 35 minutes) until I could stop shaking and crying.
I've been on google quite a bit since hearing the news and a lot of what I read has had happy endings. I'm hopeful that with time and prayer that she will be ok. Like I said in my post, we found out some other things as well, which we want to keep private until it is confirmed 100%. But her kidneys issues are the only thing that has been confirmed. I knew going into this pregnancy that I would get preeclampsia and I was prepared for that. I was NOT prepared for anything else. But here we are. In limbo and playing the waiting game. I hate it.
Has anybody gone through this or know anyone that has?! How was the outcome?! Also, the specialist wants me to start taking a baby aspirin every day. Has anyone had to take a baby aspirin throughout your pregnancy for preeclampsia? I'm curious to hear more information. (Besides google)
As I've read all of your comments, over and over again, I can't help but feel SO incredibly grateful for the family and friendships I am blessed with. It's so comforting to know that even if we don't talk a lot or see each other a lot, that you guys are there and praying and rallying around me and baby girl. It brings tears to my eyes. I HOPE that she can feel all this love too and I hope she knows that so many people are praying for her health. I can't tell you how much it means to me. Thank you.