Baby Girl Updates

Ok, where to begin?! How about a cute collage of baby pictures?!

Full face!

In these pictures, she was chomping like a mad woman on the umbilical chord for a good 4 minutes. It was neat to watch!

Now, to the updates:

I finally posted my thoughts about receiving news from the perinatal specialist about Baby Girl's kidneys so go read that post before this post. Here's an update and more in-depth details about that appointment which we are finally sharing since we've received multiple tests back.

I was told at that appointment in April that not only did Baby Girl have serious kidney issues but that there was a 50% chance that she has Down Syndrome. I was completely shocked by that news, clearly. After I left the office, I cried and got on google. I realized that I had no other "markers" for Down Syndrome. I wasn't over 40, I wasn't obese, etc. But alas, that's what I was told. For the next 2 months, we were in limbo. The not knowing was absolutely killer. We wanted to wait until we got multiple tests back confirming or denying that she had it or not. The only people that knew were our parents and a couple super close friends, some of which were L&D nurses.

Baby Girl does NOT have Down Syndrome, as far as they can tell and told me to not even think about it. As of now, her chances of having it are 1/1000 but because my second screening came back negative, my doctor is confident that she doesn't have it.

When we got all the results back, we were so relieved. Of course we would love our baby no matter what but not having to worry about that, took so much anxiety away from me. Especially because there's already SO much going on with this pregnancy.

Although she doesn't have Downs, she does have Hydronephrosis. Her kidneys are backed up and full of fluid. Her ureters are also inflamed. At our appointment in May, they were measuring 5.1 and 6.1 and at our last appointment a week ago, they went down to 4.1 and 4. We were so excited for this news. She still isn't out of the woods and still, only time will tell. There's multiple treatment options or scenarios but we won't fully know until she's born. It can be as simple as her taking medicine, to her having surgery and even death. But I have been told through a special blessing that "with modern medicine, she will be ok". And that is what I cling on to.

As far as preeclampsia goes. I do have it. I have the urine in my protein, my BP isn't terrible but still not what they want, 130's/70's and I have the weight gain. I have been working really hard this pregnancy to NOT gain a lot of weight. I walk at least 4 days a week (when I'm home) and I make sure to hit 70grams of protein a day and I hardly EVER eat sweets. I've gained 10lbs each month for the last two months. It sucks. Im up 22lbs this pregnancy so far. But it's better than 40lbs at this point with both boys 😂

I still do the monthly urine collections and blood tests. And I see my doctor every 2 weeks along with the perinatal specialist. Starting the week of July 24th and every week after that, I have 2 NST's (non-stress test monitoring-2 hours) a week and my OB doctors appointment as well as my specialist doctor. I'm not excited about that but it's better to be proactive. I also have to meet with a pediatric urinolgy team within the next few weeks and we will go over Baby Girl's kidney issue when she she's born. The team will be in the room with me when I deliver via c-section. And starting in August, I will most likely be put down on bedrest with no driving. Fingers crossed I won't have too! I hit 28 weeks already and at 28 weeks with Maddox, I was put down on strict bed rest and had to send my 33 month old, Paxton, to California for 8 weeks. So I am SO grateful I'm not down on bedrest yet! So we'll see how that goes at my appt on August 3rd.

Anyways, enough of all that. That's the updates that we have as of now.

Thank you again for the kind words and prayers!

Perinatal Specialist Appt

Today has officially made it to the list of my top 5 terrible, horrible days. As most of you follow me on Facebook and Instagram, you know that today was my appointment with my perinatal specialist.

 Here is what I posted:
I had my perinatal specialist appointment today and we received some heartbreaking news. We were told a handful of things and want to keep some of it private until we learn more and know more. But one of the things we have been told is that baby girl's kidneys aren't working and that there's backed up fluid. I have another doctor appointment next week but we won't have all the answers until they run more tests and as time goes by. But we will keep you posted. We would be so grateful if you could include our family in your prayers, especially for the baby. Thanks everyone.

As I lay here in bed with my thoughts and emotions all over the place, I can't help but think about the future and what it holds for my family and my baby girl. I hate being in this limbo stage where we are waiting to see if her kidneys will get better on their own with time or if they won't and get worse. One of the worst things about this situation is that I can't help her. I'm useless and it's out of my control. As a mother, there isn't anything that I wouldn't do for my children. And being in this situation just plain sucks. It's heartbreaking.

I'm physically and emotionally drained and my eyelids just want to close but when I close them, I cry. Or my mind starts going a million miles a minute on repeat of what the specialist told me. I guess I'm just rambling now. I'm sorry! I'll probably edit a lot of this out anyways but for now, I'm just writing what comes to mind.

It absolutely sucked not having anybody with me at this appointment. My husband is in Georgia and my mom and MIL are in other states. Receiving news like that is terrible but man, receiving news like that ALONE stinks big time. I had to wait in my car for what feels like forever (prob closer to 35 minutes) until I could stop shaking and crying.

I've been on google quite a bit since hearing the news and a lot of what I read has had happy endings. I'm hopeful that with time and prayer that she will be ok. Like I said in my post, we found out some other things as well, which we want to keep private until it is confirmed 100%. But her kidneys issues are the only thing that has been confirmed. I knew going into this pregnancy that I would get preeclampsia and I was prepared for that. I was NOT prepared for anything else. But here we are. In limbo and playing the waiting game. I hate it.

Has anybody gone through this or know anyone that has?! How was the outcome?! Also, the specialist wants me to start taking a baby aspirin every day. Has anyone had to take a baby aspirin throughout your pregnancy for preeclampsia? I'm curious to hear more information. (Besides google)

As I've read all of your comments, over and over again, I can't help but feel SO incredibly grateful for the family and friendships I am blessed with. It's so comforting to know that even if we don't talk a lot or see each other a lot, that you guys are there and praying and rallying around me and baby girl. It brings tears to my eyes. I HOPE that she can feel all this love too and I hope she knows that so many people are praying for her health. I can't tell you how much it means to me. Thank you.

Baby Harrison #3 News

Hey everyone!

I've been anxiously waiting to make a special announcement and that is that we are PREGNANT!
Which most of you know by now but still, it feels so good typing those words! Here is how we announced our pregnancy at 14 weeks!

I've been asked quite a bit about this pregnancy and thought I'd fill in a lot of questions.

The last post I wrote, I talked about how we have been struggling to get pregnant and that come January, we would be seeing a fertility specialist. Well in January, I made an appointment and the soonest they could get me in was February 6th. I made the appointment and like every month, for the last two years, we tracked our ovulation but not like I had been previously. In the back of my mind, I thought "oh well" we see a specialist next month and we will get answers. So I wasn't as persistent and on it as I had been before. Or I should say "we". (Man, this is kind of awkward to write about haha!) Anyways, I guess by not stressing about it and trying as hard as we had been, that's what we needed.

On Thursday, Feb 2nd, I was packing for our trip to Utah and realized I'd have to pack tampons. So just for kicks (because I KNEW that I wouldn't be pregnant) I took a test. Instead of waiting to see the "negative" result, I put the test on my dresser, facing up and went about my day. Between mommy duties with Maddox and watching the little girl I care for, I totally spaced on the test. So later that afternoon, I walked in my room to grab flip flops and looked down at the test as I was walking straight by it and I had to do a double take. POSITIVE. Whaaaaaaat?! My knees completely buckled and I fell straight to the floor in tears. I immediately went and took another one to be sure and this time, I didn't put it down. I watched as both the lines went solid pink! Marc was going to be home later that evening, so I waited to tell him. Hardest thing ever but I kept quiet. When he got home, I showed him the stick and he was so excited. Of course, I cried! I canceled my fertility appointment and we left for Utah and had a great time.

Fast forward to when I was about 6 weeks pregnant, I called to make an appt with a dr and the soonest they could get me in was when I would be almost 14 weeks. (Even with my history of preeclampsia and the miscarriage) So, at about 9 weeks pregnant, I started getting really nervous about having another miscarriage so I scheduled an early ultrasound through a private company so that I could see the baby and hear the heartbeat. We waited to tell the boys until I was 10 weeks and on the day that we were going to go to the ultrasound place. The boys were excited and we had my MIL and mom come too! When we got there, the tech confirmed my due date and sure enough, the baby was alive and growing! Thank goodness! We got some pictures and went on with our day.

I finally had my first OB appointment on April 6th and I was a few days shy of being 14 weeks. She did the normal papsmear and check-up and then we went over my pregnancy history. My appointment took 4 hours! It was so long but so worth it. She too, confirmed my due date as October 9th and we did a transvaginal ultrasound to see the baby better. Because I developed preeclampsia with my two boys, my doctor wants to be very proactive this go around. With Paxton, I developed preeclampsia at 34 weeks and made it to 36 weeks for delivery and with Maddox, I developed it at 28 weeks and made it to 36 weeks. (At the time, we thought we made it to 37 weeks but my other doctor kept in her notes that his due date was actually a week later than we thought which made his birth be 36 weeks gestation) Anyways, at my appointment, my blood pressure was a little higher than she liked at 127/87. What threw me for a loop was that she told me I was high risk. I told her that at the end of my pregnancies, I was high risk but not now. She corrected me and told me that I'm considered high risk NOW because of my history. That word "high risk" just sounds scary and I definitely wouldn't classify me as high risk now, but what the heck do I know. Right?! Here is what I know so far and will have to do:

- 24 hour urine collection once a month followed by labs (already did my first one)
- I see my doctor every two weeks for appointment
- I have to see a perinatal specialist once a month (my first appt is on April 28th)
- I have to keep a log of my blood pressure and take it twice a day
- I can't have any caffeine because it contributes to high blood pressure (sucks cause I LOVE me some Cherry Pepsi and Dr.Pepper :( boo!)
- If I make it to 36 weeks, we will have a scheduled c-section (I've had both boys that way) and that puts the baby's "due date" as September 10th. We will discuss this more as I get further along in this pregnancy.

So, this baby will be here in September, right before my birthday on the 20th and I couldn't think of a better present than that! We've had 3 ultrasounds already so here's a compilation of our favorites. Here is our little babe at 14 weeks.

Hopefully that answered everyone's questions. If not, let me know what else you want to know! And if you wouldn't mind, we'd love some good vibes and prayers sent our way that this pregnancy will go well and that I won't have to be on bedrest for more than 8 weeks! 😘

Harrison Update!

Wow, it's been a really, really long time since I've updated the blog. I have a bunch of blog drafts that I need to publish and well, 3 years of posts to write and I definitely need to change the header to this blog! 😳 Eek. Haha. But for now, we'll start with this.

Marc and I have decided to share some personal things on this blog. Not just for us to reflect on but to hopefully have our friends and acquaintances aware of some issues that we have been facing. We'll start off with the not so serious stuff first!

Paxton is 6 and is officially a 1st grader. It's crazy to think that the last time I was updating this blog, he was only 3 years old. Man, does time fly by or what?! Pax goes to school all day and boy, is it nice! Haha. I dread waiting in the pickup line after school, everyday, for 45 minutes. He lost his 1st tooth about a week ago and he looks so cute with it gone! I won't be saying that when he loses his two top teeth though. 🙈 Anywho, Pax is hilarious and has grown up so much lately!

Maddox is 3 and is my little sidekick around the house. I watch a little 7 month old girl everyday from 5:30am until about 2pm, M-F and he loves having a girl around. He absolutely loves being outdoors on the trampoline or riding his Strider bike. Maddox is equally a momma's boy and daddy's boy. He talks up a storm, finally! And we love that his "C's" and "K's" are pronounced with a "T". So when he says "cute" it sounds like "Tute" or "Cupcake" is "TupTate". We are going to be putting him into speech therapy soon though. And just like Pax, Maddox is hilarious!

Marc has been with Skywest for almost 3 years, come this November. He is still a First Officer but has put in for Captains position to 5 bases and whichever one opens up, we will be moving! He has put in for Seattle, Washington, Portland, Oregon, Denver, Colorado, Palm Springs, California and Los Angeles, California. He has been offered a Captains position in Detroit, Michigan but turned it down! Detroit just doesn't sound appealing to us! So we are holding out for one of those bases I listed above. His normal schedule usually requires that he is gone 4 or 5 days straight every week so we don't get to see him much 😢 But as long as he loves his job, I'm happy to support him on that. After all, it does have its perks!

As for me, I still stay home with kids! Back in 2015, I started a graphic design business called Picadilly Prints and it has been fun to do. I've taken a break from it for the past 3 months and don't know when I'll reopen my Etsy shop or take custom orders. Like I said above, I watch a little girl everyday and it has been nice. It's helping me get my baby girl fix. I LOVE traveling so usually I am off doing that! Although, not as much while Pax is in school. But any break he gets, we are gone! I've kept to myself a lot lately and hopefully, I haven't hurt anyone. I've just been trying to absorb everything that's been going on in my life lately.

We also added to our family! We now have a black mini goldendoodle lab. Her name is Roxy and we just adore her! I've never had a dog or did puppy training before and man, was that crazy or what! She sits, stays, comes, goes to her bed, lays and sometimes shakes.

And now, the real reason for updating the blog.....

Marc and I get asked VERY often, when we will have another baby. Or people will make their comments about how it's time for another one. We know that you're just excited for us to have another baby! And if any of you have asked, this is in no way, shape or form meant to be hurtful but we just felt it was time to get deep and address these questions. The bottom line is that we are struggling with getting pregnant. Marc and I have been trying for over a year and half And well, nothing has happened yet, clearly. Come January, we will be going to a fertility clinic to figure out what's going on. With Paxton, we went on vacation to Hawaii and I forgot my birth control for 4 days and well, we ended up pregnant. And with Maddox, I got off birth control, waited one month and tried the next month and we got pregnant with him. So for us to try this long and have no success, we aren't sure what's going on. So there it is. I keep telling myself that if one more person asks me, I'm going to explode. But the second that question is asked and I walk away from that person, I just cry my eyes out. We know that nobody is trying to hurt us especially when they aren't aware of the circumstances. Now you are. And trust us, if it were up to us, we'd most likely have 4 kids sneaking into our bed every night instead of just two.

At the beginning of August, I had miscarriage. I was about 9-10 weeks pregnant. And although it's a bummer that it happened, I knew something was wrong. I received two positive tests the first month, June, and then the second month, July, I got one positive and the rest negative. Then the first weekend of August, I had the miscarriage. I am ok and I'm dealing with it. It helped a little bit when I told the handful of friends/family what happened. And I'm hoping that by writing this down, it won't be such a heavy burden for us anymore. We'll see.

The last 3 months have really been trying on me. I feel like I'm holding the weight of the world on my shoulders. I know a lot of it is my anxiety taking over and that has been a main contributor in my decisions, or lack thereof when I have an attack. Anxiety is real. And it's terrible. I've been questioning and struggling with friendships and losing friendships while also creating new or stronger friendships. I don't want to be friends with people who aren't allowed to be my friend and I don't want friends that have to hide that they are my friend. I gave social media a break. Yes, I would post to Instagram but I've hardly ever, scrolled through the feeds to see what is going on. It's been a nice little break. And has helped me to spend more time focusing on me and my family. I've been doing some major soul searching and re-evaluating what kind of life I want and who I want in it. I've realized that mostly all I want and need is to love and be loved EQUALLY in return.

Marc has been my rock through these last few months. Words can't even describe how grateful I am for him and that he is mine for eternity. Thank you to the family and friends that have stood by me and helped brighten my days. Your constant words of encouragement or thoughtful actions mean the world to me. I'm also so grateful for the church in my life. And although we aren't receiving much guidance on our future, I know that Heavenly Father is there for us and always will be.

Here's to moving forward!

Xoxo

1500 Flight Hours

The time has FINALLY come! Marc hit 1500 hours and with that, he starts interviewing for Regional Airlines!! He applied for 2 companies, SkyWest and ExpessJet. 

Within a couple days, they both responded and ExpressJet set up an interview date with him for October 9th. And Marc is in a Cadet program with SkyWest and will go to Salt Lake October 28th. So on October 8th, Marc flew out to Atlanta, Georgia (they paid for it) and did his interview! He was "informally" offered the job! YAY! 

About 4 days after he got home, they called and "formally" offered him a job. BUT because he really wants SkyWest, he turned it down for now. He has from his interview date till 6 months to call them back for the job. So that is comforting to know that we have backup! 

Here is where we stand.

If Marc gets a job with Skywest, we will move to California and live in Marc's parents house (they are serving a full time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) SO they wont be home and they cleared it out before they left for their mission. He will hub out of Palm Springs airport to most likely San Francisco. So he would spend less time commuting and more with us.

If Marc doesn't get SkyWest and goes to ExpressJet, we will move to Colorado, live with my grandma and he will commute out of Denver to hub most likely out of Chicago. He will spend way more time commuting and being away from us. 

Both of these situations involve being close to family and even living with one of them. Just so I can have the support while he is gone all the time. And if we decide to get pregnant again, it'd be nice to have help with the boys since I will most definitely have another hellish pregnancy with preeclampsia. 

One of the scariest things no matter which airline we choose is the HUGE pay cut we will be getting. Pilots that sign on their first year with a Regional Airline only make about 20,000 a year! (RIDICULOUS right?!) So, that is stressful. Oy vey. This would be about 1 1/2 to 2 years. With a minor pay raise the 2nd year but a higher pay raise the 3rd year. Hopefully he will be with a Major Airline by then. Maybe. 

And eventually, we would like to come back to Arizona. We really like it here. We NEVER thought we would ever move back to California. Colorado has always been an option for us, but never California. But the more we talk about it and pray about it, the more we are leaning on California with SkyWest. He just needs to get the job!!! (No pressure hun!) 

We will keep you posted!

Random Instagram Posts

 Selfie with Maddox

 Brought out the game Twister! Kids loved it!

 1st blowout

 Cortney came to visit us!

 Craft day!

 Pax after church one sunday

 Brothers

 "Walked in to find Pax in Maddox's bed, chatting up a storm with him while holding his hands.... He talked about Maddox's ouchies (shots), Jesus, Heavenly Father and nursery, how he got a sucker and when Maddox gets bigger he can have one and then pulled one of the band aids off. My favorite would be him telling Maddox that they have weiners and girls have pee-pees!!  I love watching and listening to Pax with his baby brother. And I love that when Maddox sees Pax, his whole face lights up! Cute, funny moments! So glad to be these kiddos momma!"

 Picnic inside

 Vacay down in San Tan: Waterpark fun!

The other Harrisons!

National Talk Like A Pirate Day. At Krispy Kreme, if you dressed up then you got a free dozen donuts. So all 3 of us dressed up and headed out to it. We got 3 dozen donuts! haha. And i only ate 3 of them! Talk about self control! We tried taking a picture of Pax, but he refused. Darn it!

 A friend from my ward invited to me to go to Kneaders with her for lunch! It was AMAZING! I miss living around the corner from it in Utah.

 My husband took this beautiful picture on one of his flights

 Brothers!

 He's getting so good at sitting up on his own!

 Maddox is starting to get on his knees! And of course, Pax is loving every minute of it!

 My boys and i after church one sunday!

 Took the kiddos to Babies R Us and they got to ride in Mickey's car since they were good

Cute brothers

 Maddox and I sporting our Bronco gear! I LOVE football season.

These boys personalities are awesome!

 Yes that's throw up. Yes, it's gross. But with all the happy pictures I post all the time, I figured I'd post this picture.... A picture that shows the "behind the scenes" of the life of a mom. It's days like this, with sick babes, that I appreciate the happy, non sick days. It's days like today, when I wear throw up all dang long with no shower, that make me realize how selfless you are when your a mother. Being a mother has completely changed my life! This was my day. And I wouldn't trade it for anything. (Ok maybe I'd trade it for no throw up )

 Marc's work had a "Moon Festival" because its such a big deal in China. It was fun! Pax loved playing with the airplanes!

Relaxing day!

Marc's students threw him a bbq party for getting his hours and applying to airlines!